Get Nasty

Frank Davis

I’m still thinking about Mandy’s boyfriend. The one who asked me for a light in the pub garden, and then sat down and said, “I’ve quit.” Mandy was going to kill him if she found out that he’d been smoking, and he was going to have to buy some mints to disguise his breath.

I wonder if it worked? Maybe it didn’t? Maybe, with the first peck on the cheek from him, she caught the unmistakable stench of tobacco smoke, and recoiled away, coughing and spluttering. And so she got a broom from the broom cupboard, and used it to kill him there and then.

She’s probably just finished burying him in the back garden, and already has found a replacement for him.

The trouble with Mandy’s boyfriend, I’ve been thinking, was that he was simply too nice. He wanted people’s approval, and he’d do anything they asked…

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